“When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness—that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging—lives inside of our story.”— Brené Brown

Embracing my Worth

A year ago when I had a review with my boss , my expectations were not met and our relationship became strained. I felt like the work I contributed was not worthy. I felt unworthy as a person. I held a lot of resentment and waited for external validations that never came. In time, I began my journey into forgiveness and ventured onto a path that completely changed my life.

A year later, the work review with my boss was an entirely different experience. My heart was so open. I felt strong in my core and energetic space, fully accepting and acknowledging her feedback and at the same time allowing myself to disagree with some of what she said and had her agreeing with my disagreements! I accepted her compliments, allowing them to sink in, like honey over my skin. This was big for me as I used to deflect compliments that came my way. I chose honesty and spoke my truth – there was nothing for me to hide.

This experience highlighted to me – WORTHINESS. I KNOW my worth now and I choose to accept compliments. I KNOW my strengths, I KNOW that I am worthy of the services that I am offering. I KNOW that my life is abundant. I KNOW what I deserve will come to me. I KNOW that I am inherently deserving. I KNOW that I am born WORTHY.

Uncovering and Remembering my Worth

Feeling like I was unworthy of being loved, came up several times as I journaled yet I was not able to find its root. I only knew that I had to remember my worth and practice my worth with the mantra “I am worthy”. I dived deep into self-care and self-love. The sense of worthiness never really stuck with me though. It felt like something was missing.

I tried to “figure out” how to break a pattern that I had for MANY years – attracting men into my life who did not want to stay. I felt so stuck, like swimming knee deep in mud. Bits of insights came to me – how I had a tendency to bond with men who had similar trauma or emotional baggage; men who needed me to be there to listen to them and eventually not seeing me as a potential partner; a desire within me to help these men that led me to put their needs first before my own.

During my energy healing class, I received a healing and felt a movement deep deep deep within my heart – I had no idea what had happened then. After several rounds of energy healings, I finally connected the dots.

I had built energy blocks around my heart to protect myself, from feeling hurt due to rejection by others. This belief of being unworthy of being loved led me to pull into my life, men who were not willing to commit to me and I pushed away the ones who were interested. When they “left” or told me that we were just friends, I was deeply hurt and heartbroken. Yet I knew I could depend on myself to heal because some part of me had unconsciously predicted the outcomes. The pain cycles I created for myself though highly dysfunctional, validated the underlying belief, even though it wasn’t what I consciously wanted!

It was only through sitting with these feelings that I slowly uncovered what had been buried in my heart. The energy blocks to prevent myself from feeling hurt also prevented me from fully receiving love from others. The most powerful lesson I uncovered was that my Ego had created this to block yet another deeply rooted belief – that I was unworthy of my own love for myself. I was unworthy of self-love. This realisation completely blew me away.

Everywhere I thought that men were unwilling to commit to a loving relationship with me, I realised that the fear of commitment was another block for me! I was afraid to show up really big for myself in my own life and to be fully committed to myself and the life of my dreams. This pattern weaved into other areas where I procrastinated over things that mattered to me. This was the reason why I was so afraid and anxious to say YES! and jump in with both feet, needing to take small steps to get to where I needed to be. I also uncovered that my fear was rooted in feelings of a lack of love – my own love and God’s love. Clearing this belief that did not serve me, shifted my energy in huge ways.

For months to come, I set the intention to love myself , to pay attention to myself and devoted to myself with daily Love rituals to open my heart chakra. I chose to be gentle with myself, grateful for these realisations and trusting that it was the right time for me to know my own truth. I knew that the only way I could build a relationship and connection with myself and with others, is to love and honour myself, to allow myself to be me, to lean into my feelings without numbing and to be vulnerable.

I started taking inspired action steps towards spreading the message of Love around the world – like birthing this website! I continue to take BIG action steps to be fully committed within myself for myself, to love BIG and to show up in my life like I have never before! With all the energy healing tools, art expression, meditations and embodied practices that I had acquired, I ventured deeper into my personal transformation, healing my inner child, evolving into the woman that I am today who is stepping into her power, by stepping into her self-worth.

Embodying my Worth

Inspired words after realising my worth: