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One of the greatest gifts that I have given to myself this year is building a deeper, more intimate connection with myself.

Due to my recent bouts of vertigo, my doctor told me that yoga may not be the best thing for me to do right now as different head positions may trigger the experience of spinning or dizziness. I refused to believe that.

I am so grateful for my strength, my determination and my willpower. To pull myself out of bed in the morning despite the mental reasons. To make this work for me, no matter what. All because it makes me feel so good. I know that it is what my body is truly needing too.

Even though I had taken a week break from yoga after my visit to the doctor, I felt the strength in my legs and arms as I stretched into the poses. The foundation, the stability. Being able to do the poses with better form than in my last session.

A year ago, I was 10kg heavier in weight. It was also the time when I went through a process fully embracing my body in love.

Vivienne McMaster’s Be Your Own Beloved class helped me to change my perspective and the lens through which I saw my Self. I learnt to see myself through the eyes of love.

Marianne Elliot’s 30 days of yoga taught me to show up on the mat, everyday, no matter what. I started to do yoga in my home, where I learnt to connect deeply with my body, in a space where I felt safe. She taught me to bring kindness to the mat, to myself, my body and to remember that each time, I’m showing up with a beginners body and that’s ok. How I show up everyday is a priority to me now.

Julie Gibbon’s Mandala Magic course took me through an exploration of self discovery. During one of the months we did a body blessing. She guided us to do a self-marriage ceremony, where I drew a self portrait of myself and wrote vows to myself. This created a huge shift in my life – I was coming back home to myself again. Embracing wholeness.

I met my yogini sisters in sacred circle from all around the world, with our beautiful teacher Chameli Ardagh, founder of Awakening Women’s Institute. I created my sacred space, my altar. I practiced life in devotion to love. I learnt to embrace ALL of my emotions. I learnt to allow them to flow. I awakened the Divine Feminine Goddess within me and I stepped into my power. I became even more present in my body. I felt the fire burning in my womb, birthing my heartfelt desires into our world.

Together with my Summer of Self Love sisters so lovingly guided by my teacher Meg Archambault, I changed my self talk into a conversation that is more self-loving. I become more aware about the way I spoke to myself, within myself and made a conscious effort to treat myself with kindness, compassion and honour.

What I love the most is learning to love myself as I am. With all of my imperfections and choosing to see myself with love. As time passes, I am becoming full-er of my true self.

My energy healing work through Duality and Thetahealing, helped me to clear layers and layers of energy blocks with ease and grace. I shed my limiting beliefs and the energy that I had held in my weight. I changed my diet, started going for regular yoga classes, continuing this journey of feeling oh so good in my body. I know that my light is shining brighter now – through my eyes and in my aura.

As I am deeply connected within me, I know that everything is working out perfectly.

I know that God loves me.

That I am loved.

No matter what happens in my life, despite all the external circumstances, that there is a love within me that continues to burn bright.

That I am a star. Shining.

That I am a diamond. Sparkling.

That I am Light.

Casting rainbows all over you.

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At the start of December I was riding on high energy – in preparation for the End of The Year Concert for our students taking vocal lessons. In the same week that my beautiful boss was back in town, my dad was hospitalized and a week later I had to take some down time when my vertigo was triggered.

How often do we look within to see what we have done wrong or differently, because the outcome was not something that we had expected?

Yes, I did look within myself. I know that at a vibrational level I was shown where more healing was needed. On another hand, I did not internally reflect to see where I had gone wrong. I chose to be a lot more kinder to myself, not beat myself up for falling sick and allowed myself to listen to my body, my needs and to prioritise my rest. This felt really good too!

I know that I am on my path. I am grateful for this contrast to show me what I do want in my life and what I do not want. I am allowing all of my feelings and experiences so that I can release them with ease and grace. When I do, I create space within me to tap back into my Source of Joy again.

***

The word that has been coming up for me towards the end of December: BALANCE

Yes, my Soul really wants for me to receive this message. I am hearing You, loud and clear.

I am holding a vision for my health and vitality for 2016. I am committing to Balance in all areas of my life.

One way for me to do that is slow all the way . I have been receiving lots of messages since last week and one of it has been to Sit in Stillness.

I had a thought where I had wondered, “What if BEING in stillness more, actually allowed me to take more INSPIRED action?”

I strongly believe that thoughts and ideas are all divinely inspired and little gifts and miracles given to us by God or Angels. Are you listening to the seeds that are desiring to be planted within you and to be birthed by you?

What if, by taking more time to slow down and simply be, to meditate and stay relaxed, I was more present in my life and felt calmer? I would be able to get more done rather than going down the to-do-train-list and look at lack – at all the things I have not completed. My opportunity here is to look at all of the brilliant and amazing things that I have accomplished! All the love that I have chosen to be and all the love that I am receiving in abundance!

You know what? It’s completely ok. It’s ok that I have projects that I have left hanging. It’s ok that I am choosing to slow down now, even when, or especially when there are tons to be done. I am choosing to slow down because that feels really good to me. When I slow down I am receiving reflections around how marvellous 2015, the Year of Action has been for me.

Slowing down and connecting with my soul has brought me the gift of moving forward to write about my 2015, a SoulView Series and I invite you to join me as I look back at the lessons and growth that I have transformed through this year.

4 Steps to SOULowdown and Sit with Stillness

Stop all that you are doing. Take a few deep cleansing breaths.

(1) Where do you find yourself now? Where are you at right now?

What have your thoughts been centered around? What have you pushed to the back of your mind – yes, let’s go there too. Listen to all of the noises in your head. List them down if it makes you feel better – all of the plans and the ideas for 2016 and all of the things that you are looking over in 2015. By moving these out of you, you’re creating space for clarity within you, you’re creating space for imagination and connection to the Divine.

(2) Meet yourself right where you are. Accept where you are right now. Make peace with it.

Know there where you find yourself is OK. There is no need to change that right now. As you are desiring to meet yourself where you are – notice all the thoughts of lack that are rushing forward, all the expectations that you have for yourself. Allow them to come forth now. Expand yourself within to hold space for it all, for they are a part of you too. Tune in to your body and feel into all the places that you’re holding tension your body. Take a deep breath and relax into any resistance that you may be feeling.

(3) Let’s sit in stillness.