Do you sometimes feel triggered by events in your life, videos that you see or stories that you hear from others?

I’m giving a voice to that part of you today, by sharing my personal experience from two weeks ago.

I attended a workshop at the agency recently, on Maternal-Infant Mental Health. I felt really tired that morning, not getting enough rest the night before.

A locally made video was shared and I could not hold my tears back. My eyes welled up. I seriously considered darting out of the training room.

These were only some of the thoughts that ran through my head:
– Oh no, my tears are going to spill over!
– What would they think?
– I must be really exhausted.
– I know exactly how she feels.

My inner reflection was that there is a great impact on the children, even if there is no form of abuse in the household.

Just as was depicted in the video for a little girl in the presence of her parents fighting and the tears she cried while she was on her own; the little girl had grown up and the video showed a teenager who contemplated suicide; and the teenager had grown up into a mother of a young child and a baby.
The mother felt depressed and she heard her inner child’s voice from her own daughter who said “don’t be sad mommy, I’ll be a good girl”.

I saw my story reflected in the video. I knew that I was more susceptible due to a lack of rest. I was feeling vulnerable. I knew that her story is not my story.

I took a deep breath and envision light streaming into my heart and I heard this: I hold the power within me to own my story.

As my reality is only a reflection of my inner world, my next step was to sit with what was triggered within and to bring it into the light of awareness.

What was triggered within me, was the guilt that the little girl felt, when she was not able to fix what happened between her parents. She was not able to make things better for them.

The guilt that the mother felt for bringing her experience into her own daughter’s life creating that similar cycle of guilt and sadness.

As a little girl, and a teenager, I was exposed to arguments and quarrels between my parents, episodes of shouting when my father had consumed alcohol and my mother’s suffering.

As a young adult, I had felt a lot of guilt when I chose to stay out of their conflicts, instead of taking care of my mother’s heart. The heart that loved each of us, unconditionally.

I brought myself back into the present moment and remembered my story in the Now.

– My father had stopped drinking
– My mother is no longer in a victim role
– I told both of my parents the truth about my experience with vicarious trauma. I told them – I forgive you – and asked for their forgiveness in return
– I have forgiven myself
– My mother practices energy healing tools and my father was open to receive a healing session from me
– I tell my parents every chance that I get, “I love you” and we embrace each other in a hug

All of these became possible, after I took the first step to embrace my story, to decide that it was time for me to take the driver’s seat of my life, to free myself from the pain that I felt within so that I can feel empowered and beautiful, inside and out.

Creating the change and healing in my life, naturally created a beautiful change in my family relationships and led me to my magnificent soulmate.

Sometimes external circumstances may impact you, catching you off guard when you’re feeling vulnerable. These are incidents calling an aspect of your personal story into awareness, and it is asking to be honoured, by you.

I’ve been through a journey of untangling my personal story and receiving my truth. I’ve learnt that I hold within me, inner strength and unstoppable courage to be more of who I really am, as I move forward with support, love and guidance.

You are not alone, beautiful woman.
This incredible change, is possible for you too.

If you would like to begin this journey for yourself, head on over to my offer’s page and grab my introductory offer for the Relationship Triggers Session to kickstart your healing!

What aspect of your personal story is being triggered at the moment? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

Lovingly,
 
Viknesvari